As I sit here at this moment looking at my awesome little boy, he is only 2 years old, but he growing so quickly. I wrestle with the thought of how I do portray who I am to this gift, this blessing that God has entrusted to me. I know God wants me steward the time I have with Torin, in a way that will bring God the glory and honor.
I also know that I want Torin to live out his destiny for his life according the plans and purposes that God has set out for him. I have no clue what that is right now! But as he grows older, I want to the father who will enable him to develop those gifts and talents for Kingdom purposes. I also want to give him opportunities to serve God and serve others in those capacities where he can grow in those gifts and ultimately use those things to live out that God given destiny.
I see Torin more than just being my son, I see him as a gift and blessing, I see him as child of God, I see him as a part of my spiritual legacy and heritage that will be passed on to future generations.
I never want to miss opportunities with him, I am looking forward to taking him on missions trip, to have serve with me in our community, to lead out in prayer at church, who know to play on the worship team at church, to step out and share his faith with others. I also never want to lose my voice in his life as the main person to disciple him, to help him grow in knowledge of his faith and to simply be present for him.
In my opinion, Lora and Torin are the greatest ministry I have...if I lose them, I lose my ministry to others. I am Christ follower first and foremost, but right behind that I am husband and a father...I am a priest to my home, I am reflection the Bidegroom and the Heavenly father to my wife and son, before I am a pastor to others.
Here is what I am getting at...PRIORITIES! DEDICATION! COMMITMENT! COVENANT! CALLING! The all go hand in hand, I can't separate these things out. I am called by God! I am not called by man! Yes I do believe man can affirm that calling...however I think you can disqualify yourself from the race, the calling! My focus and dedication is not being a pastor or a husband, or a father or son...my focus and dedication to Christ and HIS CALLING on my life! My commitment is to Him and the Covenant that He has made through blood. Everything circles around that...that is the ONE thing that center and foundation of my life and who I am as a person.
With that said, my dedication, commitment and calling is to my wife and son before anyone else...I made a vow to my wife in the sight of God and witnesses...that I would lead her as my priority to the foundation, to center of my life which is Christ. I need to be a reflection of Christ by imitating Him. Ephesians 5 is my theme more now than ever before!
To bring this full circle, Lora and I made a choice to allow God to bless with an amazing little boy...I can not take for granted what I have been entrusted with so this is why I renewed myself with deep conviction to be present for Torin, to invest in him, to imitate Christ for him...that I am called as a father to my son before I am called as a pastor.
The question I ask myself constantly, how will people I shepherd (I don't take that lightly I believe that is a High Calling to be a shepherd to men and women, it is a huge responsibility) view me if I don't shepherd my family well? Deep conviction and core value in my life, I will never sacrifice my family on the altar of ministry...because they are my first ministry. That may cost me, but it will not cost the most important thing...my family! It will not cost me my calling which I receive from God.
One final thought, I do hope and pray that as I lead my family well will be reflected in how I lead and shepherd my church "family", because God has giving me a deep capacity love those people He has called me to and those I am able to invest in.
WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS? I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR YOUR OPINIONS. WOULD ALSO LOVE TO GET PERSPECTIVE OTHER PASTORS.