As I sit here at this moment looking at my awesome little boy, he is only 2 years old, but he growing so quickly. I wrestle with the thought of how I do portray who I am to this gift, this blessing that God has entrusted to me. I know God wants me steward the time I have with Torin, in a way that will bring God the glory and honor.
I also know that I want Torin to live out his destiny for his life according the plans and purposes that God has set out for him. I have no clue what that is right now! But as he grows older, I want to the father who will enable him to develop those gifts and talents for Kingdom purposes. I also want to give him opportunities to serve God and serve others in those capacities where he can grow in those gifts and ultimately use those things to live out that God given destiny.
I see Torin more than just being my son, I see him as a gift and blessing, I see him as child of God, I see him as a part of my spiritual legacy and heritage that will be passed on to future generations.
I never want to miss opportunities with him, I am looking forward to taking him on missions trip, to have serve with me in our community, to lead out in prayer at church, who know to play on the worship team at church, to step out and share his faith with others. I also never want to lose my voice in his life as the main person to disciple him, to help him grow in knowledge of his faith and to simply be present for him.
In my opinion, Lora and Torin are the greatest ministry I have...if I lose them, I lose my ministry to others. I am Christ follower first and foremost, but right behind that I am husband and a father...I am a priest to my home, I am reflection the Bidegroom and the Heavenly father to my wife and son, before I am a pastor to others.
Here is what I am getting at...PRIORITIES! DEDICATION! COMMITMENT! COVENANT! CALLING! The all go hand in hand, I can't separate these things out. I am called by God! I am not called by man! Yes I do believe man can affirm that calling...however I think you can disqualify yourself from the race, the calling! My focus and dedication is not being a pastor or a husband, or a father or son...my focus and dedication to Christ and HIS CALLING on my life! My commitment is to Him and the Covenant that He has made through blood. Everything circles around that...that is the ONE thing that center and foundation of my life and who I am as a person.
With that said, my dedication, commitment and calling is to my wife and son before anyone else...I made a vow to my wife in the sight of God and witnesses...that I would lead her as my priority to the foundation, to center of my life which is Christ. I need to be a reflection of Christ by imitating Him. Ephesians 5 is my theme more now than ever before!
To bring this full circle, Lora and I made a choice to allow God to bless with an amazing little boy...I can not take for granted what I have been entrusted with so this is why I renewed myself with deep conviction to be present for Torin, to invest in him, to imitate Christ for him...that I am called as a father to my son before I am called as a pastor.
The question I ask myself constantly, how will people I shepherd (I don't take that lightly I believe that is a High Calling to be a shepherd to men and women, it is a huge responsibility) view me if I don't shepherd my family well? Deep conviction and core value in my life, I will never sacrifice my family on the altar of ministry...because they are my first ministry. That may cost me, but it will not cost the most important thing...my family! It will not cost me my calling which I receive from God.
One final thought, I do hope and pray that as I lead my family well will be reflected in how I lead and shepherd my church "family", because God has giving me a deep capacity love those people He has called me to and those I am able to invest in.
WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS? I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR YOUR OPINIONS. WOULD ALSO LOVE TO GET PERSPECTIVE OTHER PASTORS.
3 comments:
I used to believe and feel everything you've written here. Then, my heart started to change, and I started to worry.
I started thinking, "If I had to sacrifice my family in order to serve Christ, would I do it?"
Now, at this time, in this place, that's not really a concern about which I'll ever need to worry.
But my heart years for India...a place very unfriendly to Christians. If God were to call us there, would my husband and I be willing to place our children in that kind of danger?
Or further: If God calls us to send our money to India, will we be willing to deny our children the opportunity to have new, brand-name clothes and the latest toy?
In America, these priorities sometimes get skewed. As David Platt has noted, "We've made our children into idols." We buy them mounds of toys while children on the other side of the world (or down the street) die of starvation.
And so...God has been pruning my heart. Helping me put my children in their proper place. Under God, above no one else. Yes, I have a responsibility to teach them, lead them, disciple them, and love them. But it's no greater responsibility than my responsibility to teach, lead, disciple, and love every other person in my life.
It's a matter of making sure I put myself dead last every single day for the sake of God, for the sake of others. When my children see this type of selfless love, they will see Christ...and that is the greatest gift I could ever give them...the greatest ministry I could ever accomplish.
Lindsay,
I value your insight. I think I pretty much said that i the post. But in no way to I place my son or my wife over following Christ. But it is Christ who central in my relationship to the both of them and my goal is to lead them to Him.
However, I can not see placing others above the priority of my wife and and my son...yes I am called to disciples to all the world, but if I am not doing that in my own home first, then something is desperately wrong.
If you are willing to sacrifice your family for the sake of ministry and not see them as ministry, than it is important to remain single and live the life Paul challenged the single person to live, which is a High Calling! But not everyone is called to that...I am not called to be single...I was called to my wife.
However, if God calls you away to India or Congo, he will call the whole family and give those opportunities to serve together and invest in others together.
I have read and I am currently reading again the book by David Platt Radical --- as I lead a team the Congo we are going through this book together. Very challenging book and it has indeed my perspective on things...but I am Christ follower not a David Platt follower. I know that you are a Christ follower as well...I am not saying you hold David Platt in the high of esteem...but just as with any author, pastor, leader...we all have our own calling and we need to be assured and confident in the calling that Christ has called us to...while David Platt is called to live 100% in the conviction and the passion of what he wrote about that is not where God has directed my calling at this time. Again, I LOVE the book and agree with what he says about not falling into the trap of the American Dream and walking into dangerous territory.
My calling is right here right now. I need to live in that place and with the tension of leading my family and leading others.
I love this post! It echoes something that I have been reading and finding a lot lately. When I used to think of having a calling I imagined that it had to be something grand and extraordinary but that thought has been challenged recently. Instead I am learning to see that if we look around our own worlds to the people who we live with and come into contact with on a daily basis we can see that we are called to be refections of Christ to them and that is a great calling indeed. And if we can't exhibit that to the people we know and regularly see, how can we do that for the world. I appreciate and identify with this blog very much. Thanks, Chris!
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