Because, I know personally how destructive pornography can be and how it does affect intimacy and the image guys have for women. I want to recommend three books. These three books will help in the rewiring process and are very practical.
Here is the thing, I know the same guys that complain about reading a book, something that can challenge them mentally will also spend hours looking on the internet for pornography. No benefit comes from spending time looking at pornography, but there are long term benefits to reading.
I want to encourage you and challenge you to read these three books: (Let me know if you want to do an online book discussion with any of these books.)
Wired for Intimacy - How pornography hijacks the male brain by William M. Struthers
Treating Pornography Addiction - The Essential Tools for Recovery by Dr. Kevin B. Skinner
Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addiction by Dr. Mark R. Laaser
For discussion: What is about pornography that makes it so appealing to so many men? Why do you think pornography has such a destructive effect on people?
2 comments:
It goes to sinful appetite. Like a box of chocolate cookies in a pregnant woman's cupboard, the nude figure of a woman beckons us. Even when some clothing covers the more sacred parts -- and sometimes because -- we are drawn to the mystery and beauty of the woman's figure.
The J.C. Penny catalog was my wonderland as a kid. Every now and then I'd get my hands on an S.I. swimsuit edition. But when I came across image searches on the Internet (AOL, Yahoo, then Google) I saw full nudity. Gratefully, I do not have an appetite for watching people in intercourse, but what I do desire is enough to manage.
When I am tired and frustrated I am most tempted to wander the Web looking up provocative pictures. At times I just have to draw away from the computer and go for a walk or pull out a notepad a write a while. It's not so much a desire for sexual intimacy for me as a bad habit -- a crutch -- to get through frustration or boredom.
This is a great thing to be talking about Chris. I found your blog after Heather's sermon.
This has definitely been a serious issue in my life. I can speak from experience guys : if you are married, the hardest and best thing you can do is confess this to your wife. Trust me, it will change your whole approach to fighting this sin if you involve your wife. Your wife may react badly, but that doesn't mean its not the right thing to do, and trust me, there is hope on the other side of that conversation.
I would also mention that while I haven't read the books you mention here, I did read an online resource by Mark Driscoll called "Porn Again Christian". Its a pdf available for free here:
http://relit.org/porn_again_christian/
It is incredibly blunt, but a great reminder of reality and has a great Biblical foundation. Thanks for being open about a topic that is increasingly difficult to talk about.
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